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Heyyy ... it's been a while .
I've been going through some rough shits of the mind lately .
Teenager . You know .
I wanna blog about it .. probably'd be a good start .
Alright .
As I always do ;)
I'm gonna have a 3 days 2 nights camp starting from tomorrow .
It'd be the SCL Club's Recruitment Drive Camp .
I've only thought about the meaning of the name now .
Recruitment .. somewhere along the camp, there'd be an interview conducted for everyone .
That is whether to put us in the Sub-Committee or Exco-Committee .
I remember blogging with such gusto that I wanna run the school .
Well, this is my chance right here .
I've just missed another camp of mine called A-Team's Back To Basics Camp held for 3 days .
Well, I thought of skipping the camp initially .
Despite having paid like a fucking $27 .
Kinda stupid .
Then again, I fell sick during that very period .
The thing about me is, I got discouraged .
I want to be part of the fun crowd .
I've taken approaches which i've never tried before, and it all failed .
Perhaps I should have never spare a thought and stick to the introverts or loners ?
No . Totally clashes with my principles .
Then again .. because of that, I feel miserable .
But i've thought through it .
I shouldn't let that stop me from being happy .
I need to feel happy with myself . Only then whatever occurs around the universe won't faze me .
I guess I must believe whatever that I do will lead to something good .
If it doesn't, then let me just live life .
The saying goes, Leave everything to God .
Recently, i've joined Students' Union .
See, just like what i've mentioned a few months ago .
I've applied for a last minute interview to be part of the organizing committee for the National Day Lunch Concert 2011 .
I applied for Program Coordinator .
I got it .
But I rejected the position .
Pretty 'lol??', huh ?
I wonder what have been stopping me from doing such things .
I've been given opportunities .
Okay, maybe I was ridiculed and humiliated in front of the whole institution during one of my A-Team duties .
That was a fucking bad experience I had .
Let me see what problems or any sort of inhibition I have that stops me from having fun and feeling confident and happy .
...
- I don't have much fun with my classmates, as was back in my secondary school .
- I don't have a lot of friends that want to have fun with me .
- The thought of Boo .
- I'm fucking agitated with people just going 'Okay can' in group discussion .
- I don't feel like a GUY much .
- I not heard .
The logical thing to do is to rectify everything on the list, right ?
I know !
But why haven't I been doing that ?! Fuck ah fuck !
I guess I grew too emotional .
I'm taught to not believe horoscopes, but as I recall what I read about 8-9 years ago ..
I'm a Leo . I'm very sensitive .
FUCK . I believed that . FUCK .
My sister told me one thing that totally made me not to believe horoscopes .
"If the horoscope says that you're gonna die tomorrow, are you gonna believe it ?"
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I'm in the position of greatness .
I haven't realized that.
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